Archive for the ‘My Tots’ Category

I have been thinking… what i really want to do in my life… what do I want to acheive at the end of the day… Am i happy doing what I am currently doing?

There have been many thoughts in my mnd recently…. things which I want to do…

I want to paint


I want to take nice photos to capture each moments of our life


I want to do my own business


I want to help others


I want to love


I want to feel love

I want…

I was meeting my exboss with my current boss yesterday, talking about my wedding… Suddenly, my current boss tells me that she wants to sit with my exboss otherwise, she will not attend… Really? Do i really have to live others life, do what others want and constantly pleasing others?

Who will think of what i want (well other than Rob), but seriously, who else?

I pray for Courage, pray for Wisdom that One Day… One Day i will quit, i will start moving my ass to do what i want to do… Setting up a business which in return will help others… I am thinking of setting a shop selling my fav stuffs and raise money for charity, for people who need our help. To raise awareness that Hey! There are children out there who dont even have what we call Basic Needs! This is what i really want to do now. Am i very naive to have such thought?

I feel the urge, i am so inspired by some of the blogs that i am reading. I know somewhere inside me is waving for changes, waiting patiently for something to change. I feel that I have a calling, i have a purpose in this life that God has given to me…. i feel that He wants me to acheive something, something more meaningful than the so-called corporate life.

Have you ever did something not from your own will? Doing something just to make someone else feels better?


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Its been awhile since I last wrote. I have been feeling tired and restless recently. No joy for anything. All I want to do everyday is SLEEP. My beauty sleep!

I have been writing about my job, how unsatisfied I am with what I am doing. Last week, I went for a charity event that the Charity Organization which I recently joined organizes. We brought a group of kids who are under privilege to USS to a day of fun. It is a super long and tiring day but I enjoyed myself truly. I spoken to the in-charge who is running the centre. She shared that these children are staying with the centre permanantly, some goes home once a week, some dont, depending on their family status and background. She shared with me how this centre is run and how they are helping with those kids. The love and effort they show to the kids, are truly inspiring.

It was such an amazing experience, well honestly, those kids are not the most easiest kids to deal with which can be understandable with what they have gone through, but seeing their smile and laughter, it melts my heart. At the end of the day when we are having dinner at Hard Rock cafe, they sang a song to us, a way they show their appreciation to us, it brought tears to me.

I have been toying with this thought…. is that a God’s calling to me? I have been very unhappy with the Corporate world, dealing with people whom they thought they know the world, they are something which they are not. Dealing with EMPTY headed and heart people. Doing boring and non fullfilling stuff. Is that a path which God is showing me that I should do something different? Somthing that I may be genuinely happy with? I tried to speak with one of my gf about my tot… but some people are just too discouraging. She says it is not easy….. Hello!! I know it is NOT easy, nothing is easy!! But it is about finding your life, doing someting meaningful about your life! Not to waste it like most people are doing!

I know I need a change, but cant decide on what. Dealing with kids and doing some charitable works are always in my list. I just not sure if I can manage or not. Or it is just a moment of thoughts that it will die down?

I dont know… i need help… show me some guidance please….








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Love Life

Just watched a life documentary hosted by taiwanese artists who film life stories about 2 young taiwanese girls having terminal bone cancer…. It is very heart breaking to see young fragile bodies going through pain and surgeries that alot of strong adults may not be even able to tolerate. This filming took about 2 years…. it shows the emotional struggle that both the girls and they family are facing…. yet how strong they are when they are constantly giving support to each others, the pain the girls are in… the major sugeries that they have to go through, removing the leg, kidney…. a pain of a parent when they have to see what their child is going through… the strong faith they have in Lord…. Despite only having such short lifespan, their life is more real, more meaningful than any other people around them.

Sad and tears are rolling uncontrollable down my eyes…. hundreds of thoughts flowing through my mind…. alot of questions I want to ask…. Why people are struggling to live while others are wasting their life…. What is the real purpose of life? Is everything that is bothering us now really that important? What the hell are we complaining about life when we have no idea at all. Why countries are having war and killing their own people? Why waste food when others have nothing to eat.

Life is so short, so unpredictable yet we are constantly seeking for unimportant things, superficial things…. Sometimes, when I hear silly comments or complaints or even actions from people who thinks material things are so important to them…. I will just give them a smile and shrug my shoulders… because I feel so sorry for them… for dont know how to live life.

Be Thankful of what we have, be Thankful for Everyday, be Thankful for the Family we love, be Thankful for the Friends around us, be Thankful for the Partner who sleep beside us, be Thankful for the food and water, be Thankful for the Air we breath, be Thankful for the Sun that Shine, be Thankful for the Children we have, be Thankful for the ability to move, to talk, to eat, to smell, to see, to hear and to feel. Be Thankful for each loving day that our our Lord has given to us.


I pray for all my love ones, to be bless with good health, to be bless with safetyness in whatever they do and wherever they go. I pray. Amen.

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